Comparisons - Moving Journal #6

I've been to the library four times in the past two weeks for books on decorationg ideas. My father always used to tell me to make comparisons before making decisions. Even decorating decisions can be important if you're someone who's afffected by surroundings, color, feng shui, etc. I didn't know I was feng shui sensitive until I read it in one of the decorating books. Live and learn.
I've been dreaming furniture arrangements, walking through the rooms in my mind, trying to figure out where my furniture would fit into the apartment I've committed to live in, even though I haven't signed a lease.  Yesterday I went over to help Ginger pack some more for her move out next Friday, though admittedly it was with an alterior motive of trying to figure out where to put my own stuff there. When I left, I was still feeling like this was not really happening to me, and I again said, "Lord, if this isn't where You want me, please let me know."

Today a friend of mine came over to bring me a load of packing boxes she picked up for me at the Dollar store. She didn't even have to pay a dollar for them. She fished them out of their dumpster. "Y'know," she said, as we talked, "I'm not sure Ginger's apartment is where you're supposed to be." I told her I'd asked the Lord to let me know if it wasn't. "Let's go look at those new apartments near your daughter's," she said. "For some reason, I just think we should go look there." Perhaps this was the Lord's leading. I better go and look. So we did.

The posh apartment complex was spiffy new and yuppy equiped with all you could want. Decorator magazine picture-perfect, for sure. Well laid out and filled with light. But the new synthetic carpeting made my nose itch, and as elegant as it was, to me it seemed sterile. It had no stories to tell, no history to soften it. No character, especially not what my one-time 200 year old Pennslvania farm house had. Nah, not for me.

When we left the new complex which wasn't as near to my daughter's as Ginger's apartment is, we drove to my daughter's to say hello. Two of my teenage grandchildren were home and were so glad to see me, happy to have me stop by. They were both sick so I didn't want to get close to them. I just got an email from Jordan as I was writing this saying he wanted to hug me but being sick, knew he shouldn't. Ah, yes! Living in such close proximity to them would certainly provide the blessing of seeing the kids more often than I do now. There's a reason to live practically next door right there.

What this afternoon did for me was confirm for me that Ginger's soon-to-be-mine apartment was where I should be. Imperfect as it is, even if Richard the landlord doesn't replace the faucets, Ginger says they work fine. I believe it's where God want's me. That's enough for me. I'm at peace with it now.

Helping Ginger Pack - Moving Journal #5



Need new faucets?

Our ladies Bible study group went over to Ginger's to help her pack. It gave me another opportunity to look around the apartment and to see what I had gotten myself into. As the condos are not new, while I generally like homes that have a patina and some personality, some lived in quality, like it could tell you stories of what life has gone on in there over the years, (my favorite home was a 200 year old farmhouse in Pennsulvania I lived in for a number of years), now I was seeing wear and tear that was less then idyllic. Suddenly it seems like this is happening to someone else and I can't even begin to picture myself living there.

I had envisioned putting my writing desk under a window I could open to let the lovely curtains I planned to make flutter in the breeze while the smell of Spring and early summer came wafting through. But I discovered that behind Ginger's window-camouflaging drapes the window looked out on a parking lot and there sat a row of cars six feet away staring right at me through said window like they were saying, "We were here first." So much for that idyllic idea. Now I know the reason for Ginger's heavy drapes over the window.

While the other rooms were a good size, would the dining room would have room for my two wonderful cane bottom chairs that had belonged to my Dad and Mom which presently flank my antique-pitcher-collection-laden 1750's reproduction hutch? And would I ever have space to open the leaves of my table for dinner for more than six? What about my piano? Can you play a piano when you live in an apartment complex without having the neighbors complain even though I play lovely music that I'm sure they would like. Then there's the fixtures in the bathrooms. The worn faucets need to be replaced - badly. I tried to picture Richard, my new landlord, coming over with a wrench and a new set of faucets in hand. But I've never even met Richard. We've only had a phone conversation or two to agree on me living there at Ginger's recommendation. Would he be willing to come and install new ones?

Lord, are You sure this is where you want me? If it's not, please let me know pronto before I meet Richard next week.

Trading Spaces - Moving Journal #4

Amazing how God weaves things together. I was beginning to feel discouraged that any of the condo rental apartments I was looking at would be suitable for me to move to as the ones that were available required using community laundry facilities (way too much shlepping) and were not on the group floor (I'm an earth lover.) I had a condo once with a balcony on the fourth floor. I called it my tree house. For dog walking purposes, however, first floors are best and I wanted a patio. Ginger's apartment seemed like what I was looking for, but alas, Ginger lived in it.

Then I heard of a job opportunity with a ministry I work with that would be perfect for Ginger, I thought. Only it would require that she relocate. (Honest, I wasn't trying to get her out of her apartment, it just happened.) Short story, she loved the idea, interviewed for it and got the job. This ministry is the desire of her heart! She was willing to move up there, don't you know. So the trade is I tell her about the job and she tells her landlord about me. Result: She moves out and I move in! Ta dah!!

This all happened within a week or so of when I felt God was telling me to move near my daughter (see Moving Journal #1 below). The condo community is on the water, though unfortunately my unit isn't. But while walking Lizzie we can walk by the water's edge which, being in Florida, includes the most incredible skies and cloud formations. It's located on an inlet of the St. John's River, the only river in the world, incidentally, besides the Nile that flows south to north. From there I can see the dock by my daughter's house which is also on the inlet. My grandkids had the idea that they could get me a kayack or a canoe and I could paddle over. Cute, but I don't think so.

Ginger's Apartment (Moving Journal #3)

Ginger is my friend who lives in the condos near my daughter where I am considering moving. It is, as I mentioned in my previous two blogs about my upcoming move, close to my daughter Ellen's home where I would be within walking distance of her and her family which consists of El, her husband, four children, two dogs and a cat named Theodore to whom I am incredibly allergic. Theo and I do not have much of a relationship.

I'm staying in faith that God is leading me, while watching for signs of His leading (as in "faith signs" - see photo above). I went to look at Ginger's apartment just to get the feel of it. Nice layout, lots of room and a washer/dryer which the other I looked at didn't have. It so happens that the condo across the hall is vacant as the woman who owns it went to live with her children. An attempt is going to be made to contact her to see if she wants to rent it. Then Ginger and I would be next door neighbors.

It's funny how some places just feel right and others don't. Each apartment has walls and floors, window, etc. There is always a visual sense of light or lack of it. Some places feel more comfortable than others. But it's the people who give it the sense of presence, of ambiance, or lack of it. You can feel if they're happy or not in a person's home, don't you think? And it's the 'stuff' that people have that gives a place personality as if the home is an extension of one's personhood. some are stiff and cold, others are welcoming. Ginger's home is warm and gives evidence of her love for the Lord. Even if Ginger wasn't there, you could tell that about her by her "stuff."

The building in not new. I don't mind. I tell myself, if I were, say, living in Jerusalem, I would have no trouble thinking a forty year old building was just fine, new even compared to some which are as old as New Testament history that took place there. So long as the plumbing and the heat work. In Jerusalem houses often do not have heat, so this is a plus. (I have a scar on my leg from when I tripped over a space heater in Jerusalem once trying to keep warm.) I'm not in Jerusalem, of course, though it would be my first choice if all things were equal. However, it is in North Florida that I am in search of a new home. We'll see what comes of trying to contact the absent lady next door to Ginger.

The Theology of Moving (Moving Journal #2)

Moving forward on the forthcoming move (see previous blog), I went to see one of the options of the condos near my daughter. If you can tell something about a person by the wallpaper they pick out, then the woman who owned this apartment before the present tenants moved in five years ago, was a frustrated set designer for a 1929 flapper movie. Wild stuff, not to mention that the paper was close to being that old and still somehow clinging to the walls.

It was a smaller layout and... well, I found out I'm a snob. This was clearly beneath my dignity and aesthetic sensabilities. Lord, You couldn't possibly be asking me to live here. Could You? I was suddenly faced with a theological question: Is this a lesson on going to the Cross and denying myself and being satisfied with what I don't want but He's giving me? Or should I be praying in faith for God to give me something that would be a blessing to me that I would love and enjoy? I opted for the second, keeping open with Him that I really want His will. This, as it turns out, is as much of an issue of learning about God as it is about finding a new home.

The other day I spent a rather cerebral day reading and thinking, and talking with God about what I was thinking about since it was mostly about Him. It seems to me that, for those with eyes to see it (see John 3:3), history is largely God's revelation of Himself which take place in the situations of man. Each opportunity is an opportunity to learn more of God and to have Him reveal Himself to you, if you are looking to Him to do so. My move has become that kind of quest. So I'm on the alert for new God-sightings, to see where He turns up in this search for a new home. Stay tuned.

MOVING - Moving Journal #1

I have to move. I had just thanked the Lord that there was nothing I didn't like about living where I do when two days later, on Christmas day I returned from a wonderful family time to find taped to my door a notice. It said, without any holiday greeting whatsoever, mind you, that it is time to renew my lease and oh, by the way, there's a considerable increase in the rent.

My Mom and I had moved to the south seven years ago from Philly. No point in buying something for both of us when she was 85. That was just the practicality of the situation. We found this lovely place which was just perfect for us. Mom happily remained with me till she was 92 and then relocated in the customary way to heaven to be with the Lord and my father. (See my previous blog about Mom.)

Two weeks later a friend moved in with me and we shared the rent which was enormously helpful since Mom's Social Security check ended when she did. However, within hours of the rent increase note on Christmas(did those people have nothing better to do that day?), my roommate informed me that now that she had her certification as a Medical Assistant and had landed a great job with a surgeon, she was going to get her own place. I could see where she'd want to. Everything here, except what is in her bedroom,is mine.

I was now left with the realization that I cannot continue to live in my lovely townhome near the pond (yes, that photo is my pond) with the duckies and herons,and the meadow with the wildflowers, and near my friend Sandy who loves to drive so when we go places together I don't have to. Suddenly I felt dislocated, unconnected, and a bit in shock.

There's only one thing to do when you feel like that - go to God and trust that He has a plan. You just have to find out what it is - that's the tricky part sometimes. I sat in my prayer-chair and asked God what He wanted me to do. I listened. Nothing. Well Lord, I said. I'm going to just read in my Bible where I was up to already. Would you please speak to me about all this. None of this flip open the Bible and point and expect that the verse you land on is His will. Risky business, as far as I'm concerned. As I picked up where I last stopped reading I read,"...lived with their relatives in Jerusalem opposite their other relatives" (1 Chron 8:32). It seemed as clear as day to me. I think God is telling me that I'm suppposed to live near my daughter Ellen and her family. It's not Jerusalem, but the principle is the same - live near your relatives. Ellen and the kids seemed to like the idea as well.

I called my friend Ginger who lives in an condo complex within walking distance of Ellen's home to ask if she knew of any condos for rent. She would check. A day later Ellen and I went to go look at one of several that were available. I gave it only a brief look as it wouldn't be the unit I would take, but it could work. The others are on the first floor which I would prefer. So arrangements were made for me to look at the other units.

In the mean time, even though my faith is firmly in God's caretaking of me, I am going through somewhat of a greiving over loosing my lovely townhome near the pond.... oh you know. It is possible to have faith in God and still feel a bit sad over a loss at the same time.

I don't know who will read this, or even care about me moving, but I'm going to share this anyway - my way of processing through it. Writers, which I am, process by writing. Maybe others will be moving who will be glad to know someone else is sharing their experience.

Looking Back, Looking Foward

As I look down the corridors of history in my reading, I see where God’s people, both the true Christians and the faithful Jews, have been people of extraordinary character and integrity who remained locked in on God and His Word no matter what. These men and women were pillars of faith whose testimonies still strengthen us. Among them was my own great-grandfather. My Dad called him Zaida, which means Grandfather in Yiddish. He was an orthodox rabbi in Russia when the communist revolution was stirring. All clergymen were ordered to preach only the communist doctrine. But Zaida refused to stop preaching God’s Word to his flock. As a man of Torah, he was also committed to meeting the practical needs of his people, finding ways to collect food and clothing for them when poverty threatened because of persecution. Eventually, he and others were able to flee to America, a story in itself, to save their lives. Thank God there was a free America to flee to. May it always be the land of the free and the home of the brave. Amen.

I have a book Zaida wrote in which the elders of his congregation wrote a preface telling what I just told you. If he could speak to us today, he would tell us what he told his flock—God is faithful, His Word is true, He will protect and defend you as He keeps your mind and heart close to His own. Stay faithful because He is faithful.

It is just possible that we, of all the people who have ever lived on the earth, could be those whom God ordained before the foundation of the world to be His “end time people.” He chose us for such a time as this. To me, this means that He will enable those who are truly His to know Him as the Bride He is coming for, people whom He will anoint, empower and enable to be witnesses to His glory, holiness, love and truth. If we are to be a light in the darkness, we must walk in light - His light. It is never dark when you're with Him.

Today is a good day to put your faith in Yeshua (Jesus) who is the Light of the world. Just as the oil for the eternal lamp in the Temple was insufficient to keep it lit in the Hanukkah story, but God kept it lit till the eighth day when more oil would be available, in the same way, Yeshua will keep your light lit until the eighth day. Eight in the Bible always represents new beginnings. When Yeshua returns to the earth, it will indeed be a new beginning. In the mean time, He is preparing His people to be like those who were intent on purifying the temple after it had been defiled. The Holy Spirit will do a work of purification in each of our lives if we are willing. The only thing God really ever asked of HIs people is that we believe and trust in Him. If not now, when? If not you, who?