MOVING - Moving Journal #1

I have to move. I had just thanked the Lord that there was nothing I didn't like about living where I do when two days later, on Christmas day I returned from a wonderful family time to find taped to my door a notice. It said, without any holiday greeting whatsoever, mind you, that it is time to renew my lease and oh, by the way, there's a considerable increase in the rent.

My Mom and I had moved to the south seven years ago from Philly. No point in buying something for both of us when she was 85. That was just the practicality of the situation. We found this lovely place which was just perfect for us. Mom happily remained with me till she was 92 and then relocated in the customary way to heaven to be with the Lord and my father. (See my previous blog about Mom.)

Two weeks later a friend moved in with me and we shared the rent which was enormously helpful since Mom's Social Security check ended when she did. However, within hours of the rent increase note on Christmas(did those people have nothing better to do that day?), my roommate informed me that now that she had her certification as a Medical Assistant and had landed a great job with a surgeon, she was going to get her own place. I could see where she'd want to. Everything here, except what is in her bedroom,is mine.

I was now left with the realization that I cannot continue to live in my lovely townhome near the pond (yes, that photo is my pond) with the duckies and herons,and the meadow with the wildflowers, and near my friend Sandy who loves to drive so when we go places together I don't have to. Suddenly I felt dislocated, unconnected, and a bit in shock.

There's only one thing to do when you feel like that - go to God and trust that He has a plan. You just have to find out what it is - that's the tricky part sometimes. I sat in my prayer-chair and asked God what He wanted me to do. I listened. Nothing. Well Lord, I said. I'm going to just read in my Bible where I was up to already. Would you please speak to me about all this. None of this flip open the Bible and point and expect that the verse you land on is His will. Risky business, as far as I'm concerned. As I picked up where I last stopped reading I read,"...lived with their relatives in Jerusalem opposite their other relatives" (1 Chron 8:32). It seemed as clear as day to me. I think God is telling me that I'm suppposed to live near my daughter Ellen and her family. It's not Jerusalem, but the principle is the same - live near your relatives. Ellen and the kids seemed to like the idea as well.

I called my friend Ginger who lives in an condo complex within walking distance of Ellen's home to ask if she knew of any condos for rent. She would check. A day later Ellen and I went to go look at one of several that were available. I gave it only a brief look as it wouldn't be the unit I would take, but it could work. The others are on the first floor which I would prefer. So arrangements were made for me to look at the other units.

In the mean time, even though my faith is firmly in God's caretaking of me, I am going through somewhat of a greiving over loosing my lovely townhome near the pond.... oh you know. It is possible to have faith in God and still feel a bit sad over a loss at the same time.

I don't know who will read this, or even care about me moving, but I'm going to share this anyway - my way of processing through it. Writers, which I am, process by writing. Maybe others will be moving who will be glad to know someone else is sharing their experience.