WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART?

What matters most to you? Or better yet, who matters most to you? Maybe the two questions go together. They did for me this past week. I just returned from our second family vacation together in a few weeks. I'm talking 16 of us, all together, in relatively small places. OK, the last wasn't really small. We were on a cruise ship, The Independence of the Seas,which is three times the size of the Titanic. Big!

The reasons for the vacations is that this may be the last time ALL of us are together. (You could skip this paragraph and still not miss the meaning of this article, but if you're interested....) Four of my grandchildren just graduated from college, which means 2 are making Aliyah, which means moving to and becoming citizens of Israel; another is moving to NYC for her new job (1000+ miles away); and another is moving, at least for a while, to Paris to attend a cooking school - she's an aspiring chef. Another already lives 5+ hours drive away with her soon to be second baby and hubby. One other is applying to grad school, and who knows where he'll wind up. That leaves us basically with one granddaughter and her hubby and adorable so-smart almost 4 year old still living in close proximity in our fair city, along with one nephew, and one still away at college who does come home on school holidays (at least for now). In case you weren't counting that was 10 grandkids, plus 2 soon to be 3, great grands --- and they are "grand" indeed, though "lovey" might be a better term. 

So in anticipation of an extended-family empty-nest experience, we've spent as much time together as we could recently, including the cruise this past week. We weren't always all 16 of us together but we always came together for meals in the ship's dining room. Or somehow we managed to find each other to share in the various goings-on of the ship's activities. When at the end, eating again on the 5 hour drive home, I asked what everyone's favorite part was, they unanimously said eating together, being together.  

It wasn't the opulence of the ship or the activities which were entertaining, or fun, or the off-ship trip to Mexico where we docked for a day, or....whatever. It was each other. Being together. I agree, my favorite part as well.  In contrast, this brings to mind how we got separated during the lonnnngg lines out of the boat when 4,500 people were disembarking and going through Customs at the same time. What a relief it was to find 'us' congregating outside somewhere, waiting for my daughter Ellen and I who seemed to be the tail end of that excursion back to land. 

Being Together takes on an even greater meaning for me, the only grandparent in the group, to see how much love there is through 4 generations and the sense of "us," of belonging to one another. I pray it remains despite the distance and years ahead of us. But one other reality impacted me.

While onboard I watched a movie in my stateroom, a Steven Spielberg documentary on the Holocaust, with some live film clips and the stories of some of the survivors. I now understand that some of the most terrifying initial experiences for them had to have been being forcibly separated away from their family members, from those they belonged  to. As we worked our way off the ship yesterday, my one sense of urgency was not to loose sight of Ellen who was just ahead of me in the crowd. Last year I fell and broke my hip. It still hurts and keeps me from walking quickly. When the crowd moved faster, I had to choose between increased pain or lagging behind enough to possibly loose her in the crowd. I know that sounds melodramatic, but I thought of the Jews trying not to loose one another as they were separated away from loved ones. The emotional pain, and the fear of being left alone in all that, had to be greater than any physical pain. There in that line a swell of compassion arose in me for how many such situations people may find themselves in, with far worse situations (refugees, for instance) and ends to their stories than mine, as I found my family all waiting for us and even with a wheelchair my daughter Jenny managed to find somewhere as she anticipated my pain due to standing for so long while also having to carry some luggage.

I hope what I'm trying to express comes across: Appreciate your loved ones. Take opportunities to help one another and meet some of their needs. Don't take them for granted. Don't allow petty issues to divide you. God has made us to belong to one another. Families are His idea of learning to love each one as He loves each of us - unconditionally. I read a startling statement recently that has wide implications that would allow such unconditional love. Yeshua's entire life (and death) message was FORSAKE BLAME!  I can see how that would preserve our love for and commitment to one another, can't you? Those two words are worthy of considerable pondering. 

As a final word, if your family isn't as intact, or maybe doesn't even exist, as ours does, there are likely others around you who also might long for family. It doesn't have to be biological family. Friends can often make the best families too. Ask God to help you find them. 

If someone comes to mind while reading this, please pass it on to them.  Blessings, everyone.

Lonnie

Lonnielane.com