The Fallacy of Ownership

The key to your heart's true lasting security and rest in God has been found! You thought I was going to say in Yeshua, didn't you? Well, yes, He is the only way to it. But how many true believers in Yeshua are not fully at rest in Him, try as they might? Are you one of them?  Even sometimes? Would it surprise you to learn that the key is in thinking like a Hebrew. If you thought like a Hebrew, you would have a different understanding of life in God then you more than likely do now. You would be able to live in the same peace, power and fearlessness that Yeshua's first disciples did.  

As you read on, you will see why God's adversary, the devil, hates Israel. Because Israel - and it's language - is the one way we can truly understand God and His Word as He meant for all who follow Him to know Him. There are so many deep meanings in Hebrew that do not exist in other translations. Hebrew was lost as a spoken language following the destruction of Jerusalem. But God prophesied through Jeremiah that it would be spoken in the same Land again:  Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, “Once again they will speak this word in the land of Judah and in its cities when I restore their fortunes"  (Jer. 31:23).  In order to know how God really thinks, we must think like a Hebrew. We are blessed today to grasp some of the deeper foundational truths of salvation through the restoration of the language of Hebrew since Israel has been back in their Land.

What you are about to read is how Yeshua understood the Bible, including the prophesies and how His desciples would have understood God and His Words to Israel.  The Bible says we are to have the mind of Messiah.  Before Yeshua returns, according to the "restoration" that must take place before He does (see Acts 3:21), it is quite likely that His people must think as He thinks. Would you marry someone with whom you couldn't really communicate, who didn't understand your deepest thoughts and desires? Marriage is a type of our relationship with Messiah Yeshua. We are to worship, that is to say, relate to God in Spirit and in truth. All else is misleading and false. So what does He see is false so we can avoid it?

The Fallacy of Ownership: [1]  One of the numerous properties of Biblical Hebrew is that there are no words that are possessive. Our lives largely circle around the things we posses, what we own, the obtaining of them, earning the money to pay for them, the caring for them, the protecting them. The same thing goes for relationships. We say things like my wife, my husband, my friend, my dog. We also say my car, my house, my business and even, my problem.  In ancient Hebrew there is no such thing as anyone owning anything. You  cannot say "I have a car, I have a degree, I have ..." 

This was the language of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob who lived in tents and didn't own much compared to what we do. Could you imagine Abraham and his kin shlepping a bureau or a dining room table with them each time they moved?  It's also the language of the priests to the nation.  The royal priesthood were given no inheritance but the Lord. They couldn't own anything. In the same way, Hebrew is a priestly language. There is no ownership but the Lord is our (only) inheritance. And we have to think like a Hebrew to know what God is really saying.

When Yeshua came to earth, He owned nothing. He had no possessive concepts.  At one time I realized that Yeshua owned absolutely nothing. It was somewhat disconcerting when I realized how encumbered I am with 'things'. He said He even "had nowhere to lay His head" (Matt 8:20; Luke 9:58).  Well,  God does give us all things to enjoy. On the other hand, Paul said to Timothy,  "Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy" (1 Tim. 6:17).

We say, "I have" but it's really an illusion. Hebrew is very truthful, more than English.. Owning things is really an illusion.  Ba'al was the lord of the Canaanites - he was a fully unrighteous god in every way.  The word ba'al means "master" or "owner".  When you own things, and you possess them, you become a ba'al - like a god over your possessions. The more possessive we get, the more we take upon ourselves all kinds of anxieties and striving surrounding our possessions. They are a false sense of security at best.

In Hebrew you can't say something in yours, but you would say it is "to" me. Hebrew has a L' - meaning something or someone is "to" you..  L' = to.  You can't say I have a house. You say the house is "to" me. (My own name in Hebrew, pronounced L'ani means "to me.") Things are "to" you, they are not yours. fi they are to you, then they are from someone else - God!  He is the giver of all things. It implies direction toward us and our receiving them, contrary to our "having" them on own, or our ownership of them as if we could produce them on our own.  In Hebrew you really don't have things or own anything but rather things are to you.   What you have is really a gift to you from God. When you see things this way, and you let go of your sense of ownership, you begin to see His provision and love for you. When you let go of the false idea of ownership you are free to see the love of God who brings things L'atah. - to you.  You have to let go in order to receive the blessings of seeing how all things come to you from God

All things are really L'Adonai, or L'Yohavah. - to the Lord, or to YHVH.  They belonged to God.  The priests have on their turbans, "Holy to the Lord" "Kadosh L'Adonai" (Exodus 38:26). The Sabbath is Kadosh L'Adonai (Ex. 31:15), the altar in the Holy of Holies is Kadosh L'Adonai (30:10). There are 22 references to Kadosh L'Adonai in the Scritpures.  It may surprise you to see what is Kadosh L'Adonai - even you!  God owns all things, including you!  In Hebrew we say, "All things are to God."  Even our lives are His. We must give our lives to God. Like bride and bridegroom give themselves to one another in a covenant of love.  

This even applies in very practical ways. In Hebrew you can't even say: my need, my struggle, my problem. In Hebrew you say the problem is to me. You con't own the problem. When you release the problem, you're thinking like a Hebrew in your heart. It's not a problems anymore because it really belongs to God and He has promised for those who love Him that He will "work all things together for good..." (Romans 8:28).  When you see it like that, it's not yours anymore. It's His. Let it go.  Life is a gift. That's the Hebrew way of seeing life in its entirety. 

I picked up a non-Christian self-help book out of the blue just this week as God was showing me thsese principles. It said to close your eyes and locate your past and your future and to point to them with your hands over your head. Your past was supposed to be behind you and your future in front of you, but some people's past is still in front of them as they keep dealing with it. I saw that my past was right here with me, around me, and in me. At first I wondered what that could mean but then I realized that I am a product of my past. I have given all of my past to God, in some cases, incident after incident as I forgave or asked for forgiveness where needed.  Who I am today is the sum total of all I have experienced, the good or the not so good, because it has all been given to God so it's all "in Him."  My past is now all "for good" because He has "worked all things together for good" (Romans 8:28), for and in me. My past isn't mine. It was to me, but isn't even that anymore. I have no ownership in that sense of my past, whether the glories (they belong to Him) or the sorrows (He's taken my sorrows).  How wonderful is that?! How wonderful is He?!!!!

In the Song of Solomon, in English we read, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." That's not what it says in Hebrew. It says, "My beloving is L'ani, to me and I am to him." There is no possessive.  The only proper response to God is to be "to him."  We can give up our ownership of each other. What a freedom that brings to a relationship. We are not each others to own or correct or judge. That's for God to do. We are to love one another as God loves us - unconditionally. When we give up the sense of owning another person, we can let God take care what we may have been frustrated about and just enjoy them. We can even give up our ownership of our past. Your past is no longer yours It was L'atah, to you, not your own. Let go and let God work everything for the good on your behalf. No more hurts. Give them to God and now they are to you for good. Let go and let God work all things "to you."  Thinking like a Hebrew in this way, as God meant for you to, will unlock the freedom in your heart you've been longing for. 

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[1]  Much of this information on non-possessive Hebrew comes from a message by Rabbi Jonathan Cahn. For more of his teachings go to: HopeOfTheWorld.org . 

Assured of His Love

Could it be that the way you believe God to have been with Israel affects whether or not you can rest in His love for you? 

 

      Contrary to the general Christian idea that Jews kept the laws of Torah under duress and stress in an exhaustive and futile attempt to gain God's favor, most of time Jews rested in the full assurance that God had chosen them for His very own people over all the others of the earth. They rested in His care and obeyed His Word out of affection and love for Him.  Aside from when a generation, as the Bible stories tell us, forgot about Him and was wooed away to worship other gods, Israel remained secure in God's care for them. When walking with God, Israel did not fear loosing His favor or His presence with them, but carried out His Word with hearts appreciative of His goodness and protection and provision to them. They weren't trying to be "saved" because their idea of salvation was that God's protection and favor was already theirs as a nation. And they didn't constantly fear displeasing Him as Christians often expect they did.  For the most part, Jews enjoyed God, loved Him and lived their lives entirely around Him in celebrations of Him and His bounty to them throughout the year.  

     For those who have thought of Torah as God's way of teaching mankind (Israel) that they can't keep His commandments, that would not have occurred to any Hebrew man or woman. Nor did God give them the Torah to keep Israel in a constant state of frustration and failure for two thousand years, generation after generation.  God gave them ways to be forgiven when they failed, just as He has given us Yeshua's gift of forgiveness and salvation. Theirs was much more complicated from the human standpoint - of having to take an animal for the sacrifice to the temple to have it slaughtered, but the goal is the same, forgiveness.   The difference is that when we accept Yeshua's forgiveness it is complete and total and eternal. The curse of the Fall of mankind is no longer upon us. We have been redeemed and restored to a place before Almighty God, a privilege Israel did not have under Torah alone.

       But God is "the same yesterday, today and forever."  Grace may be realized through Yeshua but it doesn't mean grace wasn't there before Yeshua. Read through David's psalms and make note of his security in God, and even when he sinned God forgave him. David speaks of his security in God, his love for His presence, and where he expected God's protection against his enemies. His assurance in God has been a great comfort to millions as they find that same assurance through David's faith in God. I suggest that his faith was more akin to how Israel saw God on their behalf than the idea that Christians often have of Israel struggling to keep laws to gain God's favor but never really getting there. This idea not only distorts God's ways with Israel, thereby affecting how many view God's attitude toward Israel even today, but more importantly, it distorts our understanding of God.  If we think God rejected Israel after all His promises to them, it may set up even an unconscious expectation that He might reject believers if we fail to meet His standards. 

    


     Note: "Replacement Theology" says that God's promises to Israel were revoked as no longer being God's promises to Israel and the Gentile believers then "replaced" Israel as the recipients of all those promises. Promises of the Land to Israel were supposedly replaced as promises of spiritual land, or the Kingdom of God. This goes against the very character of God's love and faithfulness and against His Word being true and immutable.  

      Please give the following statement some thought and don't dismiss it as unsound.  Could it be that if we think God turned away from Israel, it sets up somewhat of an insecurity in us that we could perhaps be rejected too if we don't make the grade? It could be one of those "Judge not lest you be judged" kind of things. Often when we judge someone else, we may not be judged by another person but rather we judge ourselves. (Selah.) Could this be a another key to unlocking why some of us struggle?  Do we see the Jews as trying to earn God's favor while we fear losing His favor ourselves. If this is the case, then we are living under a law of performances, thinking our own salvation is based on what we do, on maintaining a certain standard of behavior which we fear violating and therefore fear coming under God's disfavor. 



This is not only not a New Testament way to live with God, it's not even an Old Testament way to live with God. God did not give the teachings of Torah to Israel to make them stressed and under pressure all the time to be sure they were "doing it right" - of course not. And Yeshua certainly didn't die so we would remain stressed out and worried that we have to earn His favor either. Yeshua said, "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you...."  We receive His peace by giving up trying to get it, by allowing ourselves to accept that we're made acceptable to God by His doing, not ours. We live the same way, by "leaning the weight of our personality on Him" as the Amplified version of the Bible translates faith. You may feel like you're backsliding when you give up worrying, if that's how you've been living. But be assured, He will bring you through to peace.  






As Israel rested in God's choice of them as a nation, we can rest in His choice of each of us, having been chosen before the foundation of the world.  As Israel served Him with affection and gratefulness for His care and provision for them, so can we.  Israel's salvation was limited compared to ours but they didn't know it. Israel received forgiveness of the guilt of their sins through the blood of animals. They didn't know there was more, until Yeshua came. For those who have received Him, Jew or Gentile, ours is complete, entire, whole and eternal. We receive release from not only our sins but our sin nature by the holy blood of Yeshua!  The sacrifices for forgiveness of sins in Torah was the shadow or a type (prediction) of the forgiveness God would ultimately bring through His Son's sacrifice. We live in Yeshua in the completeness of what Torah was as a promise - all based on the goodness and mercy of God. 



    

The Illegal Alien Called Shame

Asking the Lord a question I felt impressed to go to the very beginning in Genesis. As I read the words, “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” (Genesis 2:25) I saw something I’d never seen before. With regard to the mention that they were naked, it doesn’t say they had no self-consciousness. It says they had no shame. The first mention of anything negative in the Bible is said about it not being there: “…they felt no shame.” They were entirely free of any shame at all. Being perfect, that would certainly be the case. But why mention it at all?

I had always assumed Adam and Eve were so God-conscious that they were entirely without self-consciousness until after the Fall. If, however, they were created in God’s image, God is Self-aware, so they must have been also. When God had Adam name the animals he became conscious of the fact that there was not one suitable as a mate for him, so he was aware of his own feelings and need for companionship. When God brings her to him, they are now aware of each other. Since all is entirely reflective of the character and nature of God, all was good. There was no shame in their relationship whether it had to do with their nakedness or who they each were on any level.

I thought of how rare it is to have a relationship where two people, be it in marriage or friendship, who are so accepting and honoring of one another that there is no place for any shame. We know the perfection of Adam and Eve’s shameless relationship quickly dissolved into blame and distrust when God confronted them with their sin. Why the blame-shifting? We generally conclude that each blamed the other to avoid taking the responsibility themselves. Or, could they have been trying to find their way out of the horrible emotionally uncharted waters of guilt and shame they now found themselves all but drowning in? Shame is excruciating enough but to come to it after the perfection they lived in, I can’t imagine what they must have felt. Entirely disorienting I would think. Shock for another, especially at the level of fear they were experiencing for the first time.

But how do we know it was shame and not just guilt they were feeling? To begin with, their original nakedness was linked with having no shame but now “the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked” (2:7), hence, shame! The same nakedness that brought them no shame before they sinned now drives them to try and cover or compensate for what can only be shame now that they knew they were naked. The “grace” they had always and only known was replaced with the

“disgrace” they are now feeling.

The Hebrew word for shame means: to feel or put to disgrace or dishonor, to wound, to taunt or insult, to hurt or bring reproach. It also means to bring confusion. (Doesn’t that all sound like the devil’s work?) In particular, shame brings confusion because it distorts the truth that God has created us all for and in love. Shame makes us feel as if we are entirely unworthy of love in any of its expressions. The more deeply entrenched the shame, the more unworthy we believe we are. Where God is involved (and He always is even if no one knows it), the truth of His love is turned into a lie that the shamed one is entirely unworthy of God’s (or someone else’s) ability to love them. The reason Adam and Eve were afraid and hid from God was that they were suddenly confused about God’s love for them. They tried to hide their sudden “disgrace” with fig leaves and then “dishonored” one another with blame. But it was shame that was at the root.

We said earlier shame was not within them. Shame was not intrinsic to them. Shame wasn’t an emotion that had been dormant within them until they sinned and then it came to the surface. No, shame was put on them by the devil. Shame came from him. God’s character and nature are defined as love and truth, whereas satan means adversary. It’s not his name, it’s a title, literally, the adversary, which speaks of his character and nature as the one who is against. Who is he against? God. What is he against? The truth of who God is and in particular that “God is love” (1 John 4:8) which is foundational to all else He is, along with His holiness. The adversary is out to distort the good and holy character and nature of God to whomever he can get to listen. And shame is his most sophisticated diabolical tool. It would seem that he controls the world with, not just the fear of death, but also by whispering the threat of shame to us constantly. We fear or seek to avoid any manifestation of failure, rejection, or abandonment really because of the shame underlying those experiences, though we may not identify the underlying shame. The devil is subtle but that’s real issue.

The Bible says the fear of death is how satan controls mankind, which is why Yeshua had to willingly die, to face the fear and overcome it. But it appears that the fear of death wasn’t the only thing that Yeshua had to face. The word also says that Yeshua “endured the cross, despising the shame…” (Heb. 12:2). Why just the shame? Why not despise the rejection, the alienation from His Father, or the nakedness, or the pain and physical suffering? Or even the end of His life, or death itself? Why are we told that it was shame that He so despised? Is it a clue as to the significance of shame, of its power over mankind, like the fear of death, that Yeshua would have to conquer? And why did He despise shame over all else He faced? Because shame is that which is most characteristic of satan himself. To address it only briefly here, the plan that satan would take over heaven when he convinced one-third of the angels to mutiny with him failed miserably and didn’t give him the glory, power and worship he intended made him instead a being filled with the greatest shame imaginable. Because his goal was the highest imaginable, to out-god God, his failure was the deepest possible and he carries the shame of it as part of his being still. The shame fuels satan’s rage.

What Yeshua most likely dreaded in the Garden causing Him to sweat blood, and what He despised most in all of His crucifixion experience was the shame he would have to take upon himself when he took on the sins of mankind. Have you ever not wanted to have something despicable to you touch you? So Yeshua despised shame that was entirely alien to His character and nature of love, mercy and justice. Shame was everything He was not. It may have been the weight of the shame while on the cross that caused Him to think God had abandoned Him, because He experienced what it is to feel entirely unworthy of God or His love.

Thank the Lord, that isn’t, as we know, the end of the story. The entire passage says, “…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-3). Yeshua knew there would be joy on the other side because He would face it and He would endure and He would be victorious over the power of shame on our behalf. He, the Lord of love, did this for us. It leaves me speechless before Him in awe that He faced what He did out of love.

So what are we to do with this marvelous insight? For one thing, rejoice that shame is not resident within us, especially as Blood-bought children of God for whom no sin can be held against us. Shame is an illegal alien and we have every right to cast it out of our lives, out of our minds and out of our relationships. We are entirely free in Yeshua” because there is no shame in Him because there is no sin in Him. His blood has made us legally sinless in God’s eyes if we have received His atonement for our own sins and committed to living our lives before Him in righteousness. Will we make some mistakes and even sin on occasion? Likely, but we’re probably hating the fact that we sinned if we’re truly His. And we have an advocate in Yeshua who has already secured our release from guilt and shame, having taken it for us.

There are many verses in the Bible that will speak to who we are in Him, that are really shields against any shame the enemy tries to put on us. But now that you are aware of it, should shame come upon you for some reason, repent of the reason the door was open and tell it to leave. It has no legal right to stay there by the blood of Yeshua. “Take every thought captive to the obedience of Messiah Yeshua (2 Cor. 10:5) and let His word be your healing balm.

It may be that you may have some deep soul wounds where shame has taken up residency that need to be healed in order to walk in this freedom from shame. Now that you know this truth, spend time with the Lord and let Him bring healing to those places. Don’t fear them. Bring them before Him and let Him shine the light of His truth into those wounded places in your soul. You need not fear the shame attached to them any longer. Gived them to Him. Go on a new Scripture adventure and highlight verses that will give you new freedom and assurance from the subtle or not-so-subtle shame the devil may have tried to make you think was part of you. Come out of agreement with the shame. Repent and shame has no place in your life. Not anymore. You're free in Him! Hallelujah.  

Disqualified from the Rapture?

“I have a question,” said a woman in my Hebrew Roots class. “If I am angry with someone and I haven’t forgiven them yet and the Rapture comes, will I miss it?”  I could see that she was really troubled by the matter.  She didn’t mean she was carrying a long standing anger, she just meant in the last day or so.  She’s asking what if Jesus comes before she forgives the person she was angry with, will that disqualify her from going to be with Him?  Will He leave her behind if she’s still dealing with the anger?  Rapture or not, the issue is whether God turns away from us when we are angry. 

We need to look at this from a bigger picture than just being angry for the moment, or even for the day. My first question back to her was did she want to be angry with him (it was a him she was angry with).  No, she really didn’t.  She was fervently asking God to take the anger from her and to help her forgive him.  So her heart was not to relish in the anger or to justify it. She was taking full responsibility for it and wanting to repent and be free of it. She wanted to be right with God first and foremost. That is not the heart of someone whom Jesus would disregard.  She was responding like a person who is born again and wanting to please God.

Since God looks to see what’s in our hearts, her heart was in the right place. But what was she to do about this anger?  Well, sometimes we are provoked to anger because of injustice, because someone is acting in an unkind or ungodly way toward us. Even Yeshua got angry and pretty much let everyone around Him know it that day when He flipped over the tables in the temple, scattering coins and animals everywhere.   He was justifiably angry at ungodliness and sometimes there’s just cause for our anger too. 

We are created in His image and He sometimes gets very angry. God knows we’ll sometimes be angry.I’ve noticed that whenever He’s angry it’s because love has been violated somewhere, either love for Him or when people are being unloving to one another in some ungodly way.  But He doesn’t want us to stay angry. He says,  “Be angry and yet do not sin, and not let the sun go down on our anger” (Eph 4:26). In other words, don’t let it fester and feed on itself so it continues, or even grows into an even greater anger as anger can. Rage begins with an offense. Forgive and let it go to God for Him to deal with it. Might the person give you the same cause for anger another time? Quite possibly. So what are we to do?  Keep forgiving, “not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matt. 18:22).  Also, I have found that Yeshua’s paradigm-changing declaration from the Cross, “Abba, forgive them for they know not what they are doing” (Luke 23:34), puts things in a God-shaped perspective and will release you from anger every time and your tears will be turned to laughter.

So she wasn’t acting like a person who was not a candidate for Jesus taking her to be with Him. She was, in fact, hating what she saw as her own sin of anger and wanted to fully forgive and repent. Her heart was aligned with God, not against Him.

But here’s another aspect. Once we are born again, apart from decided that we really do not want God in our lives and we choose rebellion, turning our backs on Him and deliberately walking away from Him, our various conflicts and crises do not make us unborn again.  God doesn’t give us His Spirit and then take it back again every time we’re angry or we slip up.  We don’t live in a yo-yo faith where we’re His one day and not another just because we’re confronted with something we’re trying to learn how to deal with. If we’re His, we’re His. And He will help us learn to deal with things as we grow and mature in our life in God.




My friend was still dealing with some of the feelings of anger – which was, in her case, really exasperation – but she had repented of her anger and “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse (purify) us of all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Sometimes it takes a little while for our emotions to catch up with the decisions of our hearts.  Thank God for His unwavering faithfulness!  

The Voice in The Water

I took a pensive walk with the Lord on the beach yesterday. The day was just crisp enough so that it wasn't hot, not yet anyway. That will come soon enough. I  took off my sandals and rolled up my jeans and waded into the water's edge. The sand, being wet, was packed hard under my feet, not at all like the shifting, sifting sands 15 feet inland. Avoiding stepping on shells or pebbles in my bare feet, the Lord and I began our walk.

"Do you hear My voice in the water?" He asked me. I listened as I kept walking. But no, I wasn't hearing His voice in the water. I kept walking and listening while people-watching. I passed a little boy about four years old who was dancing with his shadow on the wet sands as if he had just discovered that he had a shadow. I was greeted by an enthusiastic Jack Russell Terrier named Molly as I came near her masters' blanket. I made my way around a group of teens comprised of several squealing girls and the guys who were chasing them. I listened as I waded through a wide indentation in the sand filled with sun-warmed sea water, but there was no voice in that water either.

A flock of seagulls strutted the beach on their their toothpick legs always facing the ocean. A  newcomer flew into the flock and almost immediately began an argument with another seagull. I'm guessing the newcomer was not so new and wanted his place of seniority back. A whole lot of squawking at each other went on until the newcomer had won and the other sauntered away, seemingly accepting his defeat. A fisherman stood just out of reach of the water, his red bucket of bait by his side, and cast a far-reaching line out into the sea.. Are there salt water fish this close to land, I wondered.

I continued walking until it was time to head back, surprised when I turned around at how far I had come.  But I was disappointed in my walk. I was hoping for more of an encounter with the Lord. As I was heading toward the end of my walk I told Him so.  And again I heard, "Do you hear My voice in the water?"  No, Lord, I don't, I answered. What I did hear was the crashing of the waves  and then the bubbly sort of commotion as seashell studded waves tumbled over each other in their race toward the boundary God had set at creation, only to have to recede back and try again.

As I stood in the ebbing froth, I wondered where the molecules of waters that now played around my feet had been before and whose feet they had covered elsewhere. I heard the call of seagulls and the nearby breakers, but I heard no voice of God in any of it. "Lord, help me to hear Your voice in the waters," I petitioned Him. The next moment my attention shifted from the busyness of the waves where I stood to the stillness of the water on the horizon, far out at sea. I became aware of the vast and powerfully majestic unfathomable depths of the ocean miles out from where I stood. How deep the ocean is, I thought. How unconquerable. If storms would come and stir up angry waves, even so, they would not have come from the water, but from forces other than the ocean itself. I was struck by the ocean's vastness and the quiet power as compared to the race to the beach of the competing baby waves near the shore.

All the commotion and activity near the shore, He seemed to be saying is like mankind's ways, with much ado and rushing about, competing with one another, tumbling over each another in our attempts to reach a goal that will then require we try again. It became clear to me that the 'almightyness' of the sovereign sea covers the earth in a powerful display of the 'Almightiness' of God, giving testimony to His unfathomable depth, His unchallengeable power, and His absolute sovereignty that covers the earth as the waters cover the sea. Compare this to the ways of men and seagulls where there is often noise and confusion, strife and competition, rushing to get to where you'd have to only rush again soon after. But the closer you get to the deep places in God, and the more unfathomable He becomes in His goodness and wisdom, the quieter you become in your spirit, having let go of things that matter no more, making room for more of God in your heart and your life. Then I knew I had heard His voice ~  in the deep waters.

Whose Stuff Is It Anyway?

In a sudden burst of organizational fervor, I cleaned out my walk-in closet of ‘stuff’ I was suddenly motivated to part with. This is major because some of it I haven’t used but have been unable to part with for years. My motive was to put order into my hidden life. Hidden because who sees your closet? No one. But God that is. He evidently sees our closets. I had no less than the Almighty Himself say to me earlier this week, “Your outer life is very productive, but your inner life needs some order.” I didn’t have to ask Him “Why, whatever do you mean, Lord?” I knew. Having moved into this apartment several months ago (see blogs below about moving) I still have not unpacked all my boxes. That would tell I can really can live with whatever was in them, yes? In addition to the boxes I had a stash of clothes I-don’t-wear-anymore-but-will-do-something-creative-with one day (I told myself). I had found a website a while back that teaches you how to weave rugs out of old t-shirts and fabric from clothes you don’t wear anymore but want to keep in your life. Wonderful. I wouldn’t have to say goodbye or abandon my old now-has-a-hole-in-it but beautifully colored blouse, or the dress that had so many memories connected to it. I could weave them into a rug and remember each one as I viewed their colors in the rug. So I had a collection of odds and end clothing I was surely going to cut into strips one day and weave into said rug. But then, do I need a rug? Not really. Would that rug then become clutter and something else I can’t do away with? What to do?

I heard the Lord whisper, “Whose stuff is it, yours or Mine.” Uh, would ‘ours’ do, Lord? No answer. I got the point. If I tell Him my life is entirely His, wouldn’t that mean the ‘stuff’ too? Guess so. He must have sent an angel to help me because one morning I woke up and before I knew it, it was 2 pm and I had sorted through and made some major emotional decisions and in the hallway near the front door of my apartment was now three giant trash bags of give away stuff. It admittedly took me several day of tripping over them till I finally bit the bullet and decided to actually take them to the give-away store. There was a thrift store not too far from my home, but I wasn’t sure if it wasn’t someone making a lot of money off of other people’s discards as the store always seemed quite busy but had no sign such as Salvation Army or Goodwill. Did I want to contribute to something like that?

I got in my car and headed there, soon realizing I had forgotten my sunglasses. Squinting somewhat painfully in the bright sun, as I pulled into the parking, I saw a humble sign that said the proceeds went to support Viet Nam Vets. Well, then. I can do that. A patriotic warmth spread through me as I suddenly found myself feeling good about giving away my 25 year old bed spread with the matching ruffled pillow shams and the drapes that I loved but haven’t matched anything in 15 years, and the dress with the memories. It was for America and the men who had bravely fought for us, whether I agreed with the war or not. Let bygones be bygones. God is still in America. There were still men in need having been wounded in the effort and my drapes could be of some help to ease their pain.  

As I parked the car and began to unload the bags, I saw there were people coming in and out of the store who were obviously not born in America. I heard several languages as I loaded up a shopping cart with my large plastic bags of stuff. I saw mothers with little kids and teenagers all chattering together at once, fathers trying to keep little kids near them – like I happened on a village square in another country as these people were outside the store not in it. Some were showing off the treasures they had found in the store. A few young mothers, obviously housewives, were speaking Spanish so I don’t know what they said, but I could just picture one of them going home with my bedspread with the ruffled pillow shams and loving them. My heart leaped with unexpected joy as I now thanked God for the pleasure that bedspread had brought to me for many years, of how I had enjoyed it and now He had ordained that it was to go on to bless someone else. 

The sudden realization came to me that all my ‘stuff’ really isn’t my stuff at all.  The Bible says, “The Lord richly supplies us with all things to enjoy” (1 Tim. 6:17). Whatever I’ve had that I'd enjoyed was God’s gift to me. It is all His and while we may enjoy it for a season, it doesn’t diminish the memories we have if we give it away for someone else to enjoy. What freedom! The lady who took my stuff at the donation center seemed genuinely happy to receive it. She blessed me as if I had bestowed something wonderful upon her and I blessed her back. Nice. 

I decided to take a spin through the store to see if there was perhaps a treasure for me before I continued on my journey that day, even though I wished I hadn’t forgotten my sunglasses. And what was I to find? A basket full of sunglasses. I bought two, one for slightly cloudy days and one for bright sunny days like that day. Total cost: $1.50 for the two. I happily got in my car and asked God to bless the people who had previously worn my new sunglasses, the ones He had sovereignly ordained would be there for me on a day when I needed them. Thank you, Lord. You’re so thoughtful. 

All Moved In.

It's been months since I moved in. Should anyone have actually been reading #1-10 of my moving blog and wondered what finally happened, I'm here, happily living in my new digs. On moving day, I rented a truck and a flock of friends and family came to help shlep and hours later here I was. There were, as could be expected, some challenges. For instance, while the top of my desk made it, the bottom somehow self destructed. All this time I thought it was made of oak, but it turned out to be fiberboard, making me wonder what else in my life I think is real that isn't. Who knew it even came apart? My amazing grandson Zander (short for Alexander), age 15, took two short bookcases and set the desk top on them as if they were legs. Perfect! Except the desk now stuck out from the wall in my office the length of the bookcases plus I basically lost 12' of bookshelves. Not to worry, at least I have access to my computer. I never would have thought years ago that a computer would matter so much. It's now only as important as say, oxygen.  

But what to do with the books that would have gone in those book cases? Well, truth be known, though it looked like I was all unpacked and settled in, if you looked behind the shower curtain in my otherwise cute hall bathroom you would have found the tub piled high with boxes of books. If I didn't have company coming two weeks ago who would need to shower in that tub, the books would still be there. Amazing what company coming motivates you to do.

For the first few weeks I would wake up in the middle of the night surprised I was here. But soon enough Lizzie made the adjustment and so did I.  It turns out that the designated dog walking spot for the complex is on the river so Liz and I get to see life on the St. John's river on our early morning walk when the sky is still a bit on the pastel side and a plethora of water birds soar back and forth,  calling to one another, seemingly excited about another day as they dip now and again into the river for breakfast. From where I stand or sit at rivers edge, I can look in one direction and see the bridge over the river and the city, the lights of which are dazzling at night (a good vantage point to be praying for my city), or I can look the other way and pretend I'm on a primitive Florida island and wonder how it looked to the early settlers to find such rich and lush territory.

My daughter Ellen and her family live a kyack paddling distance away as there is only one property between her riverside home and my complex, not that I ever really considered taking them up on the kyack offer. It's the getting in and out the intimidates me. But it's wonderful to have them so close. When my visitors came recently we went and sat on her dock, drinking iced tea and watching the daylight sink into the river as fish (I think they're called Mullets) jumped out of the water in mini-purpoise-like immitations and we talked and talked as only old friends can.   

Back at my own little home, the wonderful rocking chair I rescued out of someone's trash and painted blue a while back sits on my little patio surrounded by pots of flowers. The big ole' granddaddy trees loom protectively above. With Lizzie on my lap, we often sit and rock at end-of-day and I talk with God about.... well, everything. It sounds idyllic, I know. I'm so grateful to God for His goodness. It's not that there aren't things to be concerned about, or to pray about. There's so much more to my life than where I live. Perhaps I'll get back to blogging about other things, but for now, I just wanted to let you know, anyone reading my moving journal, when you have a giant task in front of you, you only have to do the next thing. And somehow it all gets done and then one day you realize, you're well on the other side of it all. But don't forget to stop and look for the beauty that's around you. No matter where you are, if God's in your life, He will show you the beauty.  It starts with who He is!